New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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