32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
