Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The ass gains better be worth it
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