hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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