white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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