That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
