Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
