official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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