Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
