I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
