yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Found your dick twin last night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
