I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
