using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
