If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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