drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
