he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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