I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
id be glad to
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
