"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.