toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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