Its about making memories worth repressing
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means