Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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