How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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