i think my tv is drunk
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
