I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
too bad you live with your parents still
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Enjoy the penises
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize