And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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