I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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