i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
