not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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