bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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