after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
