he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
