Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
