theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
