so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
