Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
well you can't waste a boner
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize