Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize