Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
