Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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