I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Randomize
