the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
