every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
