MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize