Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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