We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
