What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
