The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
