Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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