Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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