Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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