I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize