I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
