Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
