i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
