PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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