I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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