did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
