this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
