You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
