Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
