Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
