His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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