Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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