I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
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We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
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I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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