he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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